May 5 2011

The Beard Unleashed!

Good news, everyone!

And frankly, I don’t care what voice you read that in! What I do care about, however, is that ‘Dwarfs!?’ is finally out!

To celebrate, we’re having a week long Hilarious Delay Sale to commemorate the absurd delays through which all our dear beardy fans had to endure before this glorious day! “What does that mean”, you ask? It means about $9, €8 and £7! Yes, we’ve priced adjusted for Europeans! One dollar isn’t a pound :D

If you just want to get this over with and buy the game, you can do so here: http://store.steampowered.com/app/35480/ (http://store NULL.steampowered NULL.com/app/35480/)

If you want to savour this moment a bit more before getting the game and having the best time of your life, watch Simon do it here (actually, do it regardless of what you want to do, it’s hilarious): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XXAoJbCYVqs (http://www NULL.youtube NULL.com/watch?v=XXAoJbCYVqs)

EDIT: Not enough? Another professional Dwarfs!?-player is Total Biscuit, who take a shot at the world record (while talking some serious smack about the poor Dwarfs) in this awesome video: http://youtu.be/9fK82bzj4Xw?a (http://youtu NULL.be/9fK82bzj4Xw?a)

If you want to cry rivers in which dwarven babies drown about how we totally ripped off Dwarf Fortress and Minesweeper, there is a great place for that, too: http://boards.4chan.org/v/ (http://boards NULL.4chan NULL.org/v/)

If you want to try out the great but absurdly difficult game we apparently ripped off, you can find it here: http://www.bay12games.com/ (http://www NULL.bay12games NULL.com/)


Apr 22 2011

We Stand Victorious!

(For the full back story, visit our Twitter page (http://twitter NULL.com/#!/Po2Games))

The creaking sound of metal against metal echoed through the forest as the last turret yielded under the great weight of the Di’Lay. It was the largest either of the two warriors had ever seen before. From head to tail, it was well over three months long, and its hardened scales had barely been scratched by the onslaught of bullets. A huge gust of air made both of them stumble backwards as the creature flapped its enormous wings. It flared its nostrils and showed its teeth. The menacing smirk of a dragon.

 

As the beast lunged towards them, Robin swung his Brush of Blades. The ground shook when the Di’Lay crashed into the nearly impenetrable wall of ink, and the dragon was forced aside. With their foe disoriented, Teddy tightened his grip around his Axe of Assembly and brought it down upon the giant head with all his might. Alas, the Di’Lay is not a creature easily slain, and when the axe shattered the earth beneath it, only its left horn had been lost.

 

The warriors barely dodged the fiery retaliation of the now furious beast. They quickly made their retreat through the thin forest. Every other step they had to dodge a claw, or duck under a cloud of flames, but they would not have to run for long. Just as they were about to reach the great swamp, the two paladins of creativity dived to either side. Unable to alter its momentum, the creature got caught by the huge Tripwire that had been cleverly set up before the battle. It fell over, crashing into the deep bog.

 

Massive clouds of Steam erupted all around it, and as the dragon struggled to regain its bearings, Teddy buried his Axe deep into the creature’s chest. With a roar, the beast toppled over, and soon lay motionless on the ground. Robin kneeled down beside its head and pried open the jaws. He pulled out an elegant, white banner, embroidered with pure gold.

 

“Is that…” Teddy asked, too out of breath to complete the scentence.

 

“Yes”, Robin replied with a grin. “It’s the release date.”

 

The weary programmer chuckled in relief. “So, what does it say?”

 

Robin unfolded the banner and held it up towards the sun. 4th of May.

 

The artist bellowed his reply so that the entire world could hear:

 

Dwarfs!? is coming out

the 4th of May!”

 

From every corner of the world, cheers erupted. Finally, the wait was over.

 

And so, after a long struggle, the release date they sought was theirs. They stood, at last, victorious. Slain beneath them lay the feared Di’Lay – now a testament to the Power of Two.


Apr 8 2011

The Hunt For Di’Lay

We finally managed to connect to the blog.

We are on a hunt.

When we kill it, there will be no more Di’Lays.


http://twitter.com/#!/Po2Games (http://twitter NULL.com/#!/Po2Games)


Dec 4 2010

Back From Heroism

I’d like to issue a formal apology to the billions of Dwarfs-fans that have been forced to suffer through nearly two months without updates! Millions of you have mailed and/or called me with anxious inquiries regarding my well being, and I recently learned that Interpol launched a world-wide search party (some even called it a search festival) in fear that I may have braved the Siberian taiga and lost my way.

But fear not, my dear friends. My sudden disappearance had a very natural (and when you think about it, kind of obvious) explanation:

I was travelling the world saving kittens from the jaws of Cthulhu and his Starspawn minions.

Now that that issue has been straightened out, we can go on to actual news about Dwarfs!

Actual News About Dwarfs!?

The situation is as follows: we’re practically done, and will send Tripwire the game at the end of next week. They will work their magic and in January the game will be brought down from the heavens to soothe the cravings of the people! Between now and that time, me and Robin will put in as much bonus content as we can, which will be downloaded as a day-0 patch when launching the game in Steam!

In the meanwhile, Robin has created a couple of videos explaining the general gameplay, and one of the fabulous bonus modes!

Also, don’t forget to check out Dwarfs-game.com (http://www NULL.dwarfs-game NULL.com/), where you can read epic comics about us and the game!

I will likely spam out some updates after the game has been sent to Tripwire and things aren’t quite as hectic!